Debating Responsibly, or “Stupid is as Stupid Does”

In the middle of preparing for their debate on whether or not the United States should begin withdrawing troops from Iraq, Cold War Veterans’ efforts were hit with a preemptive strike when the Commander in Chief warned, “There is a difference between responsible and irresponsible debate…” The debate “Should We Stay, or Should We Go Now?” was slated for Friday night at the V.M.W. (Veterans of Metaphoric Wars) in Witsend.

The intended topic was put on hold when both sides of the debate split into opposing factions and began debating what qualifies as responsible and irresponsible debate. And as is the case in all metaphoric wars, the debate reached a stalemate. Neither side had an exit strategy, nor was either side willing to admit defeat. In lieu of hiring a mediator, both parties turned to the Witsend Think Tank, TANKED THOUGHTS PARADOX, for clarification. After a heated, yet responsible discussion, the think tank released the following BOTTOM-FEEDER FIVE:

Red Flags Indicating That You Are Engaged in an Irresponsible Debate

5. When one side loses argument after argument, yet keeps retorting with “Stay the course!”

4. When the My-Big-Brother-Can-Beat-Up-Your-Big Brother argumentative discourse is initiated

3. When the tie-breaker voter drops an F-bomb on either side

2. When a conservative talk show host has the only microphone in the room

1. When either side decries “Na Na Na Boo Boo!”