Sunday, January 22, 2006

Karl Rove Comes Out of Burrow, Sees Shadow: 10 More Months of Fear!

The Satiric Press – On Friday, D.C. Karl emerged from his burrow where he’d been hibernating for the past few months, saw his shadow, and predicted 10 more months of fear for the remainder of the political campaign season. Karl Rove, White House Chief of Staff and the President’s top political advisor, made his prediction in front of a prescreened audience of loyal Republican followers. “The United States faces a ruthless enemy," Rove said, "and national security will be the preeminent issue of this years’ campaign.”

The last time D.C. Karl saw his shadow and predicted 10 more months of fear was in 2004, and as it turned out, Karl was right. The unprecedented campaign of fear in 2004 helped President Bush win his reelection bid. While both predictions hinged on the fear of terrorism, the 2004 prediction took a two-pronged fear forecast by throwing homophobia into the mix by way of gay marriage.

There was no doubt as to whether D.C. Karl saw his shadow, for it eclipsed the entire Washington, D.C., area and eastern portions of Virginia. According to Jan Jorgensen, an astronomy professor at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, “I was in the laboratory making my daily calculations when the sky unexpectedly blackened. I thought for sure we had experienced a partial eclipse of the sun. It wasn’t until later in the day that I heard on the news that it was D.C. Karl’s shadow. Then it all made sense.” Startled by the ominous girth of his own shadow, D.C. Karl was reported to have fled his inaugural speaking engagement (see photo) before he could fully outline his fear forecast.

4 Comments:

Blogger oakleyses said...

chanel handbags, air max, louis vuitton, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses wholesale, replica watches, polo ralph lauren, ugg boots, louboutin pas cher, uggs on sale, jordan pas cher, christian louboutin, nike air max, sac longchamp pas cher, ugg boots, jordan shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, longchamp outlet, tiffany and co, kate spade outlet, christian louboutin shoes, tory burch outlet, prada handbags, prada outlet, christian louboutin outlet, louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, polo outlet, ray ban sunglasses, burberry pas cher, gucci handbags, nike outlet, michael kors pas cher, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, longchamp pas cher, nike free run, nike air max, christian louboutin uk, louis vuitton outlet, tiffany jewelry, nike free, nike roshe, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton outlet

11:03 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

michael kors outlet online, coach outlet store online, burberry outlet, michael kors outlet, coach outlet, timberland pas cher, michael kors, michael kors outlet online, replica handbags, oakley pas cher, uggs outlet, true religion outlet, nike tn, vans pas cher, nike air force, true religion jeans, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet online, north face, burberry handbags, lululemon canada, hogan outlet, ralph lauren uk, mulberry uk, polo lacoste, new balance, nike air max, nike blazer pas cher, coach purses, nike free uk, hollister uk, michael kors, true religion outlet, hollister pas cher, true religion outlet, uggs outlet, converse pas cher, north face uk, sac hermes, michael kors outlet, sac vanessa bruno, nike air max uk, abercrombie and fitch uk, kate spade, nike roshe run uk, guess pas cher, ray ban uk, michael kors outlet online, ray ban pas cher

11:07 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

herve leger, nike trainers uk, insanity workout, mont blanc pens, soccer shoes, soccer jerseys, timberland boots, hollister, hollister, mcm handbags, nfl jerseys, jimmy choo outlet, vans, iphone cases, north face outlet, north face outlet, wedding dresses, nike huaraches, converse, babyliss, giuseppe zanotti outlet, baseball bats, nike air max, ralph lauren, celine handbags, ferragamo shoes, hermes belt, chi flat iron, oakley, louboutin, valentino shoes, converse outlet, gucci, instyler, ghd hair, abercrombie and fitch, beats by dre, new balance shoes, longchamp uk, lululemon, p90x workout, bottega veneta, asics running shoes, reebok outlet, ray ban, nike roshe run, nike air max, hollister clothing, mac cosmetics, vans outlet

11:10 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

canada goose outlet, barbour, moncler, ugg pas cher, moncler, barbour uk, replica watches, juicy couture outlet, wedding dresses, canada goose jackets, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, pandora jewelry, karen millen uk, louis vuitton, moncler outlet, supra shoes, moncler, ugg uk, pandora jewelry, canada goose uk, marc jacobs, louis vuitton, canada goose, ugg, canada goose, canada goose outlet, moncler outlet, louis vuitton, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, moncler uk, swarovski crystal, lancel, pandora charms, toms shoes, doudoune moncler, links of london, thomas sabo, juicy couture outlet, pandora uk, coach outlet, canada goose outlet, moncler, montre pas cher, canada goose, louis vuitton, swarovski, louis vuitton, hollister

11:14 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home