Tuesday, March 21, 2006

“Witsend Here” Adopts New Catch Phrase: WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?

Holding on to a 37% approval rating, the staff of “Witsend Here," out of sheer desperation, decided to shake up the blog by adopting a new catch phrase: “WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?” Theoretically, the catch phrase’s usage will increase name recognition and will one day become synonymous with “Witsend Here” as it infiltrates the perpetual “War on Ignorance.”

WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?” will rear its bold, ALL CAPS head whenever “Witsend Here” exposes any one of the following:

1. An illogical absurdity, usually of a bureaucratic nature.

2. A human foible so ridiculous that the reader has no choice to ask, “WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?” as a means of rational defense.

3. When the absurdities of the past repeat themselves in the present, despite the bright red warning lights flashing overhead (the light bulb having long extinguished itself and moved on to darker pastures).

“Witsend Here” will also introduce a periodic column self-titled “WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?” which will address subjects in the news that fall under the aforementioned. (see sample below)

Marijuana again tied to memory problems (Mon. Mar 13, 2006; Reuters Health)
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - People who regularly smoke marijuana may find their memories growing hazy over time, a study published Monday suggests. In a study of long-term and shorter-term marijuana users, researchers in Greece found that both groups performed more poorly on tests of memory, attention and other cognitive abilities than a comparison group who'd only occasionally used the drug...

Did researches forget about the previous studies that indicated the same results? (WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?)

Maybe studies should be conducted that examine the short and long-term effects of memory loss on those who conduct studies on the short and long-term effects of memory loss on marijuana users.

Tasos Sativa, Marijuana Memory Loss Researcher: "Hmmm, this looks familiar."

7 Comments:

Anonymous Matt Kazinka said...

That reference to the 37% percent approval rating is getting dangerously close to satirizing Bush; you still have twenty three days left, T.M.!

5:35 PM  
Anonymous karen said...

the man has a point.

8:16 PM  
Anonymous T.M. said...

sheer coincidence

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